


Legacy of Change

by FalliciousPuns, FandomForce



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015), Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Long, Star Wars EU - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-12
Updated: 2016-05-12
Packaged: 2018-06-07 21:41:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,285
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6825568
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FalliciousPuns/pseuds/FalliciousPuns, https://archiveofourown.org/users/FandomForce/pseuds/FandomForce
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It is a dark time for the scattered remnants of the New Republic.  Although Starkiller Base has been destroyed, the First Order troops have dealt major blows to the Resistance and pursue them across the galaxy.<br/>Evading the dreaded First Order Starfleet, a group of smugglers led by Cadeus Guerfel have have fled to the wookiee world Kashyyyk with stolen First Order documents.<br/>The evil Supreme Leader Snoke, obsessed with destroying the Jedi and retrieving the stolen plans, has dispatched his forces into the far reaches of space....</p>
            </blockquote>





	Legacy of Change

**Author's Note:**

> Hi. It's us. The authors. Hey. We just wanted to let you know before you start that this fic is mostly just our version of writing an EU novel. It's gonna end up being a pretty long fic. We also wanted you folks to know that this is *not* a self insert.
> 
> Also we don't own Star Wars. We wish we did, but we can't all have what we want. We only take credit for the words we wrote, and the characters we created.

 

I tried to move, but the restraints dug into my thin wrists.  My long legs were beginning to tingle.  They had been bound too. For the thousandth time, I tried to use the Force on them, even though I knew they alone were force resistant.  None of the pushes, pulls or mind tricks were working.

Saliva soaked the gag that whoever had kidnapped me had put on.  
I resisted the urge to cry.                                                                        
"Jedi don't cry,” I whispered.  “At least, the focused ones don’t," I told myself.  The words barely escaped the gag, and they sounded like the grunts of a frightened animal.  I tried to calm down and yet again I remember the stories of Anakin Skywalker, his attachment to Padmé Amidala, and later his secret marriage with her.  He had ended up killing her.

"Those who give vent to their emotions eventually come to ruin themselves, the balance of the Force, and the people around them," Master Luke had said back at the Academy on Yavin 4.  He had seemed to be right, after Kylo Ren came and slaughtered most of the Jedi.  Some of them had been in league with him from the beginning.

That had happened seven years ago.  
I knew that Han Solo, Finn, and a scavenger named Rey had destroyed the First Order's weapon, but I was too ashamed to go back.  I just left, and I didn't go searching for Luke by myself after he disappeared.

I didn't go to him for guidance when I should have.  
I purposefully dwelled on the light side of the Force, letting it course through my veins.  It made me feel stronger.  I took a deep breath and tried to shift to a more comfortable position.  
I wondered why I had been brought here, and by whom.  I hadn’t exactly lived by the law for the past few years.  It could be anyone.  

One thing I was sure of was that this was an old vacated Imperial outpost.  There were old storm trooper jumpsuits and random rusting equipment ranging from old, outdated blasters to thermal detonators.  Acrid smoke hung in the air which smelled of decaying walls, fire, and trash.  Broken glass littered the floor everywhere, there were even faded bloodstains.  Among the blasters and detonators, I could see farm tools; shovels, three-pronged rakes with sharp ends, also stained with blood, and crude knives. If there had been any bodies, they had been removed, for there were no bones littered about.  
I assumed that there had been a civilian uprising. I had not seen any houses or heard sounds of ordinary bustle of a small village, but I had been blindfolded immediately after being captured. The shadow of whatever had captured me had only taken the blindfold off in the cell, from behind.  Immediately, I had whipped my head around trying to see who it was, but I saw nothing.  The room seemed empty.  I tried using the Force, but all I sensed was a living mass that my eyes refused to see.  
I tensed, stretching out with the Force to see if there was a way out.  
Then I sensed it, a dark and conflicted presence. I brushed against his mind, trying to discover his intentions lightly so he wouldn’t notice.  I must have failed, for immediately his guard was up, and surrendered no information whatsoever.  I kept trying.  I felt his guard lower slightly.  

A hazy thought came through.

“ _Cortana.”_  That voice. My head jolted up and I _knew._ It had been the same the last time we saw each other.  

All of a sudden, I was there.  The rain.  The screams.

 

 _He stared at me in his new mask, shuddering with pleasure as he felt me react to his force message._ Look at me Cortana, and see me not as Ben Solo, but Kylo Ren.  Look at what I've become, all of this power, you can have it too.  Come with me, grasp the power of the Dark Side! _he had said in my head._

 _I was horrified.  I turned.  All around me there was nowhere I could look and not see the havoc and slaughter of my dear friends, falling one by one into the boggy mud.  Some desperate part of me still hoped that they could be saved.  Maybe they weren’t all dead yet.  They might be dying right now: the mud was at least to my ankles, they could suffocate.  I needed to_ help _them._

 _I realized my throat was raw with shouting, “Stop!” over and over as I tried to turn over their motionless bodies.  There were so many.  I couldn’t save a single one.  I saw them coming towards me.  I tried covering my ears as I as I ran away, so I couldn’t hear_ his _voice call after me._

 _I only got a few feet before a Knight of Ren intercepted me.  They had their lightsaber pointed at my throat.  The knight hesitated awaiting Ben -_ no. not Ben’s but _Kylo’s orders, because he sensed a deep interaction between our thoughts._

Look what I’ve become _, he repeated._

 _Ben --_ no _, I reminded myself again -- Kylo Ren said, “Let her go,” and the knight obeyed instantly._

 _Ben leaned down and lifted my chin and whispered, "Run, but eventually I will find you, and you will accept who I have become."  His fingers rested a moment longer on my face._ _  
_ _I just shook my head and disappeared in the pouring rain and into the jungle, the water dripping down my face half tears, half water droplets._

 

Before I could contemplate further, before I started crying, I heard padded footsteps approaching my detention block.  I saw it in my mind's eye, more than I actually heard it.  The footsteps stopped just outside of the door.

I stared at the floor as the door slid open.  I resisted the urge to look up.  I knew who it was as soon as he entered. Something in my heart skipped a beat, yet ached at the same time. I had trained with him, cared about him even.   _Why?_  
"As beautiful as she was when I knew her,” he said under his breath.  If I hadn’t been listening for his emotionless voice, I wouldn’t have caught it. “Good job Oskald, you may go collect your pay. "  
I glance through the corner of my eye at the one the he had spoke to.  It looked like a shadow, without shape, until it solidified.  
  
A nogrhi! I should have known. Only nogri could get me without me knowing.  They were naturally immune to the force.  
I tried to hide my self disgust but failed miserably.  
“Don't be so hard on yourself,” he said lightly.  “Everyone has their shortcomings, one just has to know the person _long_ enough to to know what those shortcomings are."  
He was mocking me.  He knew that I wouldn’t have been able to sense a nogrhi with my limited power with the force.  I tried to speak, but the gag wouldn't let me.

He knelt down until we were eye to eye. I refused to look at him. He lifted my chin, until I met his gaze. I looked at him with a pain-shattered face.  He frowned, then gently removed the gag.  
Silence.  
He still kneeled, looking into my eyes. "You care for me still..."  He sounded almost surprised. It was a statement that rang true.  "After all this time, after all that I have done to you, our friends, the Galaxy, and myself,” he paused, “you care for me, yet, you were torn apart. You were divided; between love for master, and for me.”  

I closed my eyes and tried to shake my head, trying to pretend I couldn’t hear.

“You didn't want Luke to know you loved the man- boy rather, who had killed all his students, all but you. You would be evidence of that love. There had to be an explanation of why you were left to live. You were ashamed, not of me, but of yourself."

It made me angry.  Not only was he reading my thoughts, but what he said was true, which stung.  I couldn’t go back to Luke.  I was the only one who had survived. This… person in front of me had _let_ me survive.  If I went back to Luke, he would know… that I had been in love. Nothing was wrong with the fact that I he been in love.  Luke had made it clear that we could marry if the Force allowed, but being in love with _him!_ He had done terrible things to his family, the Galaxy, me, and himself.  Deep down, under the shame of myself, I had loved Luke as a father; because I never had one. To never go back to him, was like he had died.  I could never go see him and bear his disappointment in me.  Did I even deserve the title of Jedi, I wondered? It seemed like deserter was more fitting.

  
The words hung in the air. Years of pain caught in my throat, but then the fear set in: fear of what he had become, of the immense power that was probing my mind, and the fear of what he could become.  Overall, the disappointment that I imagined hanging in Luke's crystal blue eyes.  
  
He was probing the last seven years pain.  
  
"You don't have to be afraid," he comforted.  “I feel it too.”

Tears sprang to my eyes.  He had felt it too.  He had cared, he _still_ cared for me.  
He did not wipe the tears away, he put his forehead to mine, crying with me.  
"I am so disappointed in what I have become, of what I need to accomplish. I am afraid."  He whispered.  
"Fear leads to pain, pain to suffering, suffering; to the Dark Side,” I quoted, hopelessly realizing that he had experienced these things, and had fallen to the Dark Side already.  
  
Through the years, I had tried to convince myself that, Ben Solo, was alive, in Kylo, and that I could bring him back.   _I had to bring him back._

I had run from him, yet he had brought me back.       

In answer to my quote, and perhaps my thoughts,  Kylo answered, "Don't you see?” he asked, “It is too late; it has become a part of me. Something I cannot defeat by myself."  He lifted his face and his eyes weren't the warm brown ones I remembered. They were hopelessly black, with brown specks, as if the dark side was eating them away.  
  
I moved nervously, trying to stretch my arms that were beginning to cramp up.  He shook himself out of his reverie, and with one quick swish of his hand, the restraints fell to the floor.  Although my arms were now free, my heart was not.

He used the Force and untied the rope around my ankles. He helped me to my feet, and cupped my face in his gloved hands. He stared into my eyes, soaking up all the memories that played in them. I lost all fearful restraint and threw my arms about him. “Ben…” I whispered.

 

* * *

 

##  _Somewhere in the Outer Rim_

 

“Aww, come on,” the man complained, “can’t you fix it? You’re always bragging about how you could fix the ship with your eyes closed!”

“Shut up Jay! I don't see you helpin’ us get there faster,” said the Kel Dor, irritated at the young slicer, “so quit your complainin’.”

“ _I_ have my work coming, and when the time comes, you can just sit back and relax, but I don't plan on slaving any more than necessary. Besides, even if I _did_ help, you wouldn't let me do any of the important stuff.”

“You don't know how to _do_ the ‘important stuff’!” shouted the exasperated Kel Dor.  

Jay stiffened.  “Need I remind you, Rosh,” he began, haughtily, “that _I_ have sliced into the _First Order’s_ highly secured, top secret files?”

“No you don't!  I hear you sayin’ that in my head every time I look at that smug face of yours!  Anyway, slicing is slicing, and repairing is repairing. Slicing tends to destroy, while repairing is fixing.”

“I don’t _destroy_ precious information, in fact, damaging the source you are slicing from is for _amateurs_ . I was just proving that if I can break into high security files, than I am at _least_ capable of handling some fried circuits!”

“Well, _I_ don't think you are capable, _I_ am this ship’s mechanic, _I_ make these decisions, and _I_ say no. End of conversation!”

Jay snapped his mouth shut, and looked over to Tashiyla to ask for her opinion.  The Twi’lek was sitting at a table, cleaning her twin blasters with a rag and cleaning fluid.  “Just let Rosh do his job,” she said, without looking up.  

Jay rolled his eyes.  “Tash,” he began, “we’d be halfway to Kashyyyk by now if he'd just let me help!”

Tashiyla slid her boots off the table and stood up, holstering her blasters.  With her boots on, she stood a couple inches taller than Jay did.  He waited for a scathing remark, but none came.  “I’m going to check on Luthar.”  She started to walk out, then turned around.  “You two can bicker all you want, but the captain won’t be happy if we don’t make good speed today,” she said, then left.

Jay sat down hard at the table, crossed his arms, and kept quiet.   _Whatever the captain wants_ , he thought, twiddling a computer spike between his thumb and fingers. _If we had a decent freighter like the_ Millenium Falcon _, we would have been there in no time._ Jay sighed and got up, grabbing a ration bar on the way out.

He went to his room and pulled himself into his bunk. He grabbed his datapad from underneath the pillow and scanned through an old list of replayable hologram news reports.  He’d been watching a lot of them lately.

The captain; Cade Guerfrel, made sure that his organization of smugglers were up to date on everything, so they would be up for anything.  You never knew what death scenarios you could get out of with just a tidbit of information, he had said.  From an old gang lord wanting to know where his rival’s secret storehouse is, to where the new best cantina is in the neighborhood, it was always better to know.

Jay had skimmed through all the new stuff and now had to content himself with old replays. He eventually came to one titled “Han Solo, beloved Hero and old-time smuggler dies in explosion of First Order’s revised ‘Death Star’, _except this time_ , Jay reminded himself, _it was called ‘Starkiller Base’_ . He felt a piece of cold anger, _that dang weapon killed thousands people from the Senate! Not that I care for the Senate, but they were innocents._

 

He clicked play and watched the reporter interview the general of the Resistance, while absently eating his ration bar. He watched Leia Organa Solo, try to keep herself together, with Chewbacca and the heroine and hero of the recent victory against the First Order, Finn, and Rey. Along with Rogue pilots and etc.

They all said the same thing: “He died for a glorious cause,” or “He fought bravely for the Resistance, and he died doing the same”.  From Rey however, came the most affectionate. “In the short period of time that I knew him,” she said, “he became like the father I never had.”

Jay studied the girl. She didn’t seem like the kind of person that could fight and survive a Sith.  He secretly believed that no one could defeat a Sith, with their dark magic.  Rumors were flying around that Kylo Ren was even more powerful than Darth Vader could have dreamed of, but he didn’t believe that.  His father had told him stories of Darth Vader and how he could kill a man just by looking at him, and Jay doubted that anyone could ever be as evil, or powerful.  He personally would not like to try his luck to find out.  He looked at the display.  Han’s face, mischievous but still serious, stared up at him.

Jay sighed and lay down, faceup.  He held the datapad over his head so he could still see the screen.  When he’d been small, he’d wanted to be a smooth talking, scoundrel of a smuggler, just like Han Solo, the rebel that the Empire and the Hutts tried so hard to capture.  He could get out of everything, he was the best.  Once he’d finally become a hotshot and slicer, Jay had wanted to meet him, to talk to his hero, the man he’d looked up to his whole life.   _Looks like that’s not gonna happen now_ , he thought.  Jay turned off the datapad.  There was no point looking at the other news report, he knew it all by heart.

The intercom crackled.  “Jay,” came a voice.  Jay pushed himself up, yawning.  “Jay, I need you in the cockpit,” it said.  The intercom switched off.

Jay swung his legs over the side of the bunk and stood up.  He pulled on his tan leather jacket, then his blacked boots.  He glanced quickly at the mirror to fix his reddish/brown hair, then grabbed his pride blaster pistol from his bedside table.  Holstering it, he walked out the door.

As he walked hurriedly down the corridor that led to the cockpit, he peeked in at Tash and Luthar.  They were both equipped with Drearian sporting blasters turned on stun, and were training with each other, dashing behind empty cargo crates and using them as cover, blasting at each other with friendly ferocity.  Jay felt a spike of jealousy tickle him.  He wished that he were as accurate and nimble as Tashiyla with her double blasters, or half as brave as Luthar, who could trust himself to dodge a shot so he could advance on Tash’s position.  

 _Yeah,_ he thought, _but none of them could slice a computer like I could._  It was a halfhearted thought though, and Jay stopped watching after seeing Tash swing herself over a box while shooting with one hand.   _Worthless gunners.  They wouldn’t last a day in espionage._

The mock fighting had been Cade’s idea as well.  He wanted his crew on top form, whether it be intellectually or physically.  His crewmembers had heartily agreed that it was a good idea.  The more prepared they were, the better off they would be, in unexpected situations.

Jay would have bet that if Rosh hadn’t been working on the overflow engine power compressor, he’d have been reading up on different ships’ mechanics or adjusting and upgrading the crew’s guns.

Jay finally rounded the corner and came out into the cockpit.  “You called?” he said jokingly.

Cade grinned, his shining white teeth showing.  “Sure did, Jay.”  He pointed to the holomap on the dashboard, indicating a sprinkling of small speckles.  “See that?” he asked.  

Jay nodded.  “Asteroid field.”  

“Uhuh,” Cade answered, zooming in.

Jay frowned.  “Why don’t we take a hyperspace route around it?” he asked.  

“After what happened with Mal,” he paused, looking at the empty co-pilot seat, “After last time, we can’t be sure that the First Order’s not onto us, so we’re taking the most roundabout route to Kashyyyk we can,” he said.  “That means no taking direct hyperspace routes to Kashyyyk, but if we want to get there within a few days we have to take _a_ hyperspace route, so my plan was to navigate this field and _then_ make the jump.”  

Jay’s spine tickled with rage at the memory of Mal _, that good for nothing scum that led the First Order to us._

Jay came back to reality and gasped, “Cade.  We can't go _through_ the asteroid field.  We’d never make it.”  

Cade shook his head.  “The time it takes to _skirt_ the field should get rid of any of the First Order we’ve managed to pick up.  They’ll be looking for possible destinations we might have been headed for in that time that can be accessed via hyperspace, but little will they know that we’ve made our way to a route that isn’t connected to those that we’re supposed to be on.  Solo used to say, ‘Never tell me the odds,’ remember?”

Jay smiled and nodded, slowly taking in Cade’s words.  “What do you need me for?” he asked.  

“Even though we aren’t going through the field, I’ll still need a copilot to help me navigate, especially if the edges of the field have a ton of outlying asteroids.”

“Ok then,” Jay said, sliding into the copilot seat without further invitation.  Besides slicing, flying was his favorite pastime.

  
  
  


Cade leaned back in his seat scratching his dirty blonde hair.  He had kind blue eyes, fair complexion, and a lopsided smile.  “Well, it looks like we’re out,” he said, pointing out of the window.  There was nothing but the deep black of space, speckled with stars. Jay relaxed his tense muscles and grinned. “We did it.” He said simply.

“Nice job, kid, and what do you think of this?” He passed a DL-44 Heavy blaster pistol to Jay, and said “That there is Han Solo’s old one.  My father saved his life once, with that very blaster.”

“Looks like that didn't amount to much.” Jay answered, as he ran his hand longingly over the blaster.  He wanted to ask why Cade was showing it to him now, but he knew by now that if Cade wanted him to know something, then he’d have told him.

Cade stretched his lean body before answering, “It sure did, kid, without my old man, Han Solo wouldn't have been General, married, and given birth to arguably the most dangerous sith the Galaxy has ever known and quite possibly, the Galaxy would still be in the hands of the Empire.”  

Jay perked up.  Cade often disagreed with him about Darth Vader vs Kylo Ren.

“Maybe, but what is worse; First Order, or the Empire?” Jay asked as he  reluctantly handed back the blaster.  “It has a nice feel,” he commented trying not to show how much he wanted it.

“That remains to be seen, Jay,” he answered as he stood, turning on the autopilot. He turned around putting his arm around Jay’s shoulders, leading him out of the cockpit.  “I thought you might like it, seeing as you’re always asking after Han,” then seeing Jay handing the blaster back, “Keep it Jay, you might need it for our upcoming delivery.” Cade said, smiling.

They walked through the the corridors leading back to the training room.  Cade took his arm off of Jay’s shoulders and crossed his arms, leaning against the entryway, observing the mock fighting.  Jay watched as Cade monitored Tashiyla’s movements.

Jay smiled.  Everyone knew that Tashilya had a ‘thing’ for the captain, but Cade had made it very clear before that he wasn't interested. Tashilya never gave up however, but instead kept her distance and admired him from afar.

Jay pulled his eyes away from Tashiyla, and moved them to Cade’s handsome form. Cade had a muscular, top shape body, which Jay envied. He was wearing a black vest, a clean white shirt, a double holster, and navy pants which made him look like a blonde version of Solo.  Jay didn’t know whether it made him happy or if he found it annoying that his pilot seemed to be imitating his idol.

One thing that Jay loved about Cade was how made sure that he pulled his weight around here, enough so, that he remained involved and really cared about his team instead of gloating over earned credits in some boring office.  When Jay had mentioned this to Cade, he had answered “I can't let you guys have all the fun, and besides if I can ever hold a candle up to Solo, it's not going to happen in some dang office”.  

Jay smiled and shook his head.  He knew that Cade was jealous of how much he idolized the legend he had never met, plus, Cade wanted to fill the obvious wanting place in Jay. Jay had been cursed with all sisters, and no brothers to speak of. Since he and his sisters had been the children of a dead and respected imperial Admiral, they had been expected to marry wealthy First Order supporters.

 _All to stay on the first Order’s good side._ Jay cursed under his breath _._ Jay had shocked the family by getting in with the ‘wrong crowds’, and showing interest in the Resistance and even doing some slicing for them.  The whole fiasco that Jay now painfully referred to as ‘the Slice and Dice meat incident’ had blown the possible courtship of some general’s something’s daughter and ruined whatever cold relationship he had still had with his family.

 _Kicked out the door, like some low life scum._  Instead of running to the Resistance, Jay had run straight into Cade, who at that particular moment had been running for his life, and the rest was history.  He’d been the first person to join Cade’s crew.

Tash and Luthar stopped when they realized he was there and stood at attention. Cade walked in and saluted them with mock seriousness.

“Where’s Rosh?” he asked, scanning the group.

“Right here Cap’n,” answered Rosh, as he scurried in through the door.

“You guys can sit down.”

They all took a seat. Tashiyla pulled herself onto an empty spice crate while Rosh slid down to sit at its base.  Luthar leaned against it with one arm.  Finding nowhere to rest against the crate without going behind it, Jay stood awkwardly to the side.

“Now,” Cade began, “Here’s the plan.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> Whoo... first chapter done! We really hope you enjoyed (trust us, it means a lot), and will come see how things go next chapter.  
> This chapter was originally posted at: http://fandomforce.blogspot.com , where we have cover art and sometimes fan art for each of the chapters (if you'd like to check it out).
> 
> May the Force be with you.


End file.
